What if our great argument no longer matters, and only the damage remains?
Some couples no longer remember exactly how the fight began, but they remember every sentence that was said. Some siblings stop speaking for years over an event that today might not deserve five minutes.
We can fight so long over who is right that we forget to ask what winning is costing us.
Haazinu says: “If only they were wise... they would understand their end” (Deuteronomy 32:29). Not only: who is right now? Also: what will be the end of this road?
There are boundaries that must not be surrendered, and reconciliation never requires remaining in an abusive situation. But there are also wars we continue because we no longer know how to climb down without feeling that we lost.
Sometimes a person wins an argument and loses a person.
Before Yom Kippur, it is worth asking not only whether I am right, but whether what I am fighting over is truly worth the price my life and relationships are paying.